New chronofacts are falling and we’re getting new voicemails to analyze and dissect. Bit by bit, we can piece together different futures. Every one of us Coasters has a handful of favorites. Maybe favorites isn’t the right word. Makes it sound like we’re talking about movies or something. We each have voicemails that we’re drawn to for one reason or another. I think that sounds better.
Sometimes it’s the subject that hits us, like lobsters or fishing or a fear of creepy robots. Sometimes it’s the way a person talks or it’s the specific words they choose. Sometimes they make us smile or even laugh. Other times, not so much.
I have a hard time listening to I Heard Dad’s Voice from 2022.
“I love you so much…and these words… they’re a connection between the two of us and I don’t want to let that go yet.”
My husband passed away three years ago this upcoming June. He had recently had a simple surgery and there were complications. He was recovering a bit more slowly than expected, but there were no warning signs of what was really brewing inside his body. We were sitting on the couch together, watching television, when he complained of feeling odd. We thought it was the pain medication. His stomach certainly didn’t like it, so maybe his head didn’t either.
An hour later he had a bit of pain in his side. I tried to call the doctor, but got the answering service. When the doctor didn’t answer the page, we drove over to the urgent car a mile away. I wasn’t really thinking clearly. I didn’t call an ambulance. It didn’t seem like an emergency. Surely, the doctor would have answered the page if it was an emergency.
Five minutes after we were seen, he was in excruciating pain. The urgent care doctors called an ambulance, but we didn’t make it to the hospital before he was gone.
I don’t know why the man in the voicemail feels such a connection while leaving his message. When I hear him say those words, though, it feels like he’s reaching back through time and saying them directly to me.
I know his feeling of not wanting to let go. Even when it’s time to.
Would it be silly to think that specific voicemails have come back to us for a reason?